A: He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette too. “I can only truly love my best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand it. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed. — Male Novelist Jokes (via The Toast)
driving is actually terrifying like idk how people do it and i know i need to do it to function as a human being and get places and i want to do it so i can get places but it’s just
The thing that finally got me over this (@ age 28, mind you) was working at a car wash. After a month of trying to guide people of various backgrounds into and through what was essentially a straighter version of a drive-thru, I realized that almost no one has any idea what their car even DOES. Like, they don’t even realize whether they’re in park or not. Or whether or not they’re moving forward. Or that turning left into a brick wall isn’t going to work out for everyone. So don’t be scared. If you’re like, awake, then you’re a better driver than 90% of the drivers out there, and you can use your sweet alertness skills to maneuver around them.